Corrode-y to the Max

At Cara's school, homework isn't introduced until their fourth year.  As a fourth grader, her homework is assigned Wednesday and is due the following Wednesday.  This assignment usually consists of reading a story and writing a small essay in her journal about what she had read.  Nothing too terrifying.  

Little did we know that Cara had been harboring anxiety about having to do homework from the first through third grade.  The panic that this three year build-up produced closely resembled a Pavlovian experiment.  During her first few weeks of homework, I could literally hold up her assignment sheet and Cara would break into tears.  When I tucked the paper away, the tears would subside.

We tried a lot of different techniques to get the weekly assignments to be less stressful.  I've gotten all kinds of frustrated with my child throughout the school year, having tried bribing, threatening, and just plain leaving her alone to get her homework done each week.  Further into the school year, the Pavlovian reaction about the homework subsided and really the only obstacle was in getting her to just do the work.  No clue where she got the whole procrastination gene. *cough* both sides of the family *cough*    

A couple of months ago, Cara's class started working on their individual science experiments that each child would present at their Science Fair.  Cara's original idea "I want to make stuff rust" had to be refined into a testable hypothesis and backed up by research.  For this assignment, I nominated Craig to assist.  Partly because he's much better at the science stuff.  And partly (read: mostly) because there were A LOT of due dates connected with this assignment. I was plum tuckered out from being the one shooting smoke out of her ears when it was the night before a due date and nothing had been done.

Craig worked with Cara and they got a workable hypothesis and experiment set up.  I helped with the purchasing of materials (because I can handle the job of shopping) and stepped in here and there to make sure she was still on track, but, for the most part, I tried to stay out of it. I had told myself that I would take a back seat and let the results be her own, whether it was success or failure. 

With the Science Fair date quickly approaching, I was very nervous that Cara wouldn't have all of her work completed.  There were due dates coming and going and, other than a quick reminder that they were coming up, I left Cara alone to do what she thought that she needed to do.  Since most of her final work was to be done at school, I had no clue how her project had turned out.

Last Thursday was the moment of truth.  The Upper Elementary Science Fair.  

I walked into the Science Fair with my camera in hand.  Cara was set up in the middle of the gym, so I got to browse the experiments of many of her classmates.  I was impressed with the amount of work that had to have gone into each of these experiments.  I wondered if Cara's display would give other parents that same thought.

She was explaining her experiment to another parent when I approached.

This is the cover of her report. I adore the meticulously-cut letters in the word "rusty".

The only way she could have been more proud would be if she was me.

 Her report looked amazing and I do believe that the other parents were just as impressed with my child's work as I was with theirs.

Cara has come a long way this school year.  It has been such a joy to watch her grow and mature.  From the Pavlovian tears to the confident, "I've got this, Mom" attitude towards homework.  We still need to tackle procrastination. Maybe we'll work on that next year.  

Happy 5th Birthday, Connor

I wanted to do a nice, retrospective post in honor of Connor's birthday, but we've been busy today celebrating. Instead, I am just going to post the photo collages that I sent with Connor to school today for his classroom birthday celebration.  I think it gives a nice perspective of how much he has grown, but it also shows just how much he's always been "Connor".  To go with the photos, here are some quotes from the kids over the past five years.

With the the birth of her new baby brother approaching, we were explaining to Cara the difference between how boys and girls play. We said, "Boys like to wrestle and play rougher than girls." To that, Cara replied, "I like cats."

After Connor was born, I reminded Cara that her suggestions for her brother's name were Fred and Junior. I then asked her, "What would you name the baby if we decided to have another one?" Immediately she answered, "Pain."

Connor: "Can I scare Cara?"
Me: "No, that's not nice."
Connor: "Is it funny?"

Craig told Connor to do something and Connor refused. Craig gave him the warning that, if Connor didn't do it, Craig would make him. Still no compliance. So, Craig began counting. When he reached the number two, Connor, with his body shaking in fury, says, "I will DESTROY YOU!!!"

Connor:  "I'm gonna put something in my pants.  Wanna come with me?"

Happy birthday to the most hilarious, stubborn, argumentative, brilliant, goofy, compassionate, imaginative five year old boy I've ever known.  I am so proud to call you my son. Except for when you're being a donkey in public. Then you're Daddy's kid.

Laugh-iversary

Many years ago, before Craig and I were married, my mother-in-law said, "You can't get a Bortnem male to do something that they don't want to do." When she said this, my immediate reaction was, "Well, you just didn't try hard enough."  It only took me eleven years of marriage and five years of living with TWO Bortnem boys to realize that she was right.

Today is the 11th anniversary of the day that the older Bortnem boy and I got married (which he had to have wanted to do, given his mother's previous advice).  What I remember most about that day  was trying to get through our vows without laughing.  Not that the vows were particularly funny, mind you.  You know my propensity for laughing at inappropriate times?  Well, couple that with the fact that our Judge's name was Philip D Bush (say it out loud....wait for it....yep, that really was his name) and I can tell you that there were a few explosive giggles during our short ceremony.

Flash forward exactly six years later and the bigger Bortnem and I are in the hospital, getting ready to give birth to a junior Bortnem.  Laughing.  This time, it wasn't the fact that I shouldn't be laughing that was contributing to the lightened mood.  We genuinely had fun when Connor was born.  My midwife, the head nurse, Craig and I  were laughing so much that I actually said, "Delivery isn't supposed to be this much fun."

When we talked about how long we've been together a few months ago, I got nostalgic and a little mushy and said, "I love you, Craig."  To that he responded, "I.....eat your baked goods."  Eleven years later and that Bortnem boy still makes me laugh.  But only because he wants to.

 
 

Mario Party Favors

After the invitations for Connor's 5th birthday were finished, I got to work on the gift bags.  Normally, the lengths that I go to in order to keep with my theme go relatively unnoticed by most people.  This year, I have at least two children attending Connor's party whose mothers I KNOW will notice those details.  I love having similarly-neurotic people in my life.

I really didn't want to purchase Mario favors, so I decided to make my own.  Here are some of the items that I started with.

The water, fruit snacks, and Silly Putty eggs came from Target. The bubbles, flying discs, and cubes came from Party City. (Not pictured: bucket/pail sets from Michaels, mustache chocolate molds from Carol's Cake Supply)

I was lucky enough to have found a Super Mario font for free on the internet (you can download it here) when I was making the invitations, so I used this font when personalizing the gifts.  Since the party is at a park that has sand in the playground and at the lake's shore, the buckets will be given out at the beginning of the party for the kids to use.

Here's a shot with all of the buckets.

Later in the game, I realized that I needed something for the favors to go in since the buckets would be covered in sand when it was time for the kids to leave.  So, I got some cheap gift bags and personalized them.

Thanks again, free Mario font!

I have three more mint chocolate Mario mustaches-on-a-stick to finish but, other than that, the favors are done!

This will be Connor's stash. I'll have the waters chilled and ready for the kids to drink at the party. But this way, they don't have to worry about whose is whose since they're already labeled!

Lunch with Connor - Monster

Connor had gotten up from his chair during lunch to sit in my lap and tell me this story.  Not quite sure why he was using this voice other than he knew that he was being filmed and thought he'd try to be a goofball.  Don't be fooled by his tone of voice because, just when you think you know what's going to happen, well, just watch for yourself.

Sorry, Skunks

Last night, we returned from a trip that was packed with a 6 hour car ride to Mitchell, SD an overnight stay at a hotel, a morning swim, a funeral and reception, a trip to "the farm", a lot of visiting with family, and a return car ride lasting another 6 hours.  All of that in a span of a little more than 24 hours.  It was a full day for the adults, let alone for our two kids. 

For the most part, Cara and Connor did really well in the car.  On the way home, they played very well together until it got a bit dark outside and Cara fell into an awesome, mouth-open sleep.  The kind of sleep that every parent on a road trip dreams of.  And, being the donkey that he is, Connor would have no part of it. 

So, the boy turns his attention to the folks in the front.  Crap.  Don't you have a DS to play or something?

He rambles on (as he is prone to do when he is tired) about anything and everything that pops into his head and I do the active listening fake-out thing where I say "Really?" and "Right!" in appropriate increments even though I am in a highway-induced trance since I'm the one driving.  After a bit, I declare my office closed and state that Craig is now the manager on duty. 

Now that Craig is supposed to be listening and responding, I honestly should zone out and focus on the road and getting us home but I can't help but listen to the verbal barrage that Craig is fielding. After realizing that he was losing the debate he was having with his dad, Connor randomly stated, "Skunks say they're sorry."

Normally, I would chalk this up as a "Random Backseat Rambling" similar to ones that I post on Facebook.  But this time, I got to be a spectator as opposed to a participant in this show.  Let me just say, that when you don't have to ready your brain with a response to this boy's nonsense and can just sit back and watch the show, it's much harder to stifle the laughter.  And anyone that was with me in confirmation class or church choir knows just how much I suck at NOT laughing at inappropriate times. 

So, I'm in the driver's seat, bouncing with silent laughter and trying not to focus on picturing a skunk, standing on his hind legs, saying "My bad."  Craig continues his role as The Adult in the Household and asks Connor more questions about skunks.  Connor goes on to talk about how they do handstands when they spray and that the babies spray each other for practice.  He said, "If a skunk comes near you and you walk away fastly, they will chase you.  But if you walk away slowly, they won't."  (Silent giggle about the word "fastly".)  He also added how, if you get sprayed by a skunk, you have to take a bath "with tomato juice and water".  He then mentions that he's heard a lot of this information from an episode of Curious George. 

At this point, I have replaced my suppressed snickers with awe at the amount of information that he's retained about these striped creatures when he adds, "They're not turtles. That means they only come out at night."

I totally deserve a medal for not crashing the car. 

5-Up

Even though I knew that Connor's birthday was rapidly-approaching, I believe that I may have been in a slight bit of denial about the fact that he was actually going to be turning five.  When I verbalized this disbelief, Connor offered, "I can be 3 1/2 and then just turn 4 on my birthday."  Such a nice boy to offer to play along with Mommy's delusions like that.

Since Connor is a fan of all-things-Mario, we decided to go with that as his birthday theme this year.  I got the notion of hand-making his invitations and had an idea in mind that involved buying yellow cards with envelopes that I found at a local craft store.  In my mind (which we've already established is filled with delusions), a pack of 10 cards and envelopes means that the cards would actually be folding cards with which to write on the inside.  Not so much with the pack that I bought.  These were 10 separate pieces of card stock, cut into a size that would fit the accompanying envelopes.  So much for my original plan.

I did some searching on the Internet (I cheated on Google and went straight for geekcrafts.com and Pintrest) and got some inspiration.  I took those falsely-labeled pieces of card stock and got to work.  Pretty happy with the results.  Now I just need to work on the party details.

This is how they look when taken from the envelope.

This is the invitation pulled out of the question mark block.

For those of you unfamiliar with Mario, here is a picture of the question block and one of the mushroom.