Charlie is Connor's imaginary friend. Now, this is not one of those imaginary friends that my child talks to or acts as though he can see him. Charlie exists only in stories that begin with, "My friend, Charlie, says / has / does...." Therefore, Charlie only exists to prove us wrong.
From my son's stories, we've determined the following about Charlie:
- He is 89 years old (though some stories puts him as old as 1,000)
- He has 29 kids
- His friends, besides my son, are named Farley and Black Jackson
- His grandmother is Grandma Jelly
- His great-grandmother is Great-Grandma Dogstroller
One day, Connor was being a bit, um, challenging. After having asked him a couple of times to sit down in his car seat so that I could buckle him, I gathered up my less-than-bucketful of patience and asked him, "When you don't listen to me, does it make me happy?" He answered, "No." I then asked, "Does it make me sad?" Again, he replied in the negative. I closed with the, "Does it make me angry?" question that he immediately confirmed. In typical know-it-all fashion, he added, "My friend Charlie doesn't get sad or mad. He only gets happy." I reached into my bag of Charlie facts to say, "I guess all 29 of his kids must listen to him and do what he says." Before the smile of my verbal victory could reach my lips, he added, "Yeah, but his kids cost $100."