Future Hermit

Connor: "I'm not going back to my school anymore."

Me: "Why not?"

Connor: (deep sigh) "I just wasn't born to go to school.  I was born to be by myself and make up my own rules."

I decide to play the "what if" game with him, asking him what his rules would be if he was by himself.  While I do believe that some of them are loosely based on Curious George episodes, I was pretty impressed that a boy who didn't like rules could actually come up with seven on his own.  

House Rule #1

You can paint inside or outside of the house on anything.

House Rule #2

You can eat bananas with your feet.

House Rule #3

There is no furniture, except for a dining table and chairs.

     Part of House Rule #3 is that there is a dining room.

House Rule #4

There is a TV and in order to watch TV, you have to sit on a dining chair.

House Rule #5

No coffee (When asked about this rule, he explained, "Because if I was a dad, I wouldn't like coffee.")

House Rule #6

You cannot make papier mache because if someone thinks it's a kind of a food, they won't like it.

House Rule #7

Five stools

Now, I'm not sure if these are going to be posted in his Fortress of Solitude, so you might want to make sure you commit them to memory before visiting.  And if you do visit, make sure you do NOT tell him what to do.

Say What Now?

As a parent, I often find myself saying things that I can vividly remember my parents saying to me.  The big difference is that now, I'm usually thinking to myself, "Ha ha! Who's the parent now?!".  Even though my parenting script can often sound like a rerun of years ago, there are times when my children coerce an original script out of me.  There have been times when I've had to shake my head in disbelief that the words that came out of my mouth actually had to be grouped together in that combination in order for my child to get the message.

If you were to come to the house a few years ago, you might have been privy to the time when I had to say, "Cara. Get that guitar out of your mouth."

More recently, I actually had to tell my daughter, "Do not take your shoes off at a restaurant."

In case you were wondering, there is never an acceptable answer to the question "Why is there chewing gum wrapped around your neck?"

But even through all of the "did I really just have to say that to my child" moments, I do think that my favorite was when I had to tell my son,  "Connor. Use your hands to push that, not the Force."

Lunch with Connor - Hot Dogs

Every other Thursday, the boy and I head to Costco to do our bi-monthly bulk item shopping.  We usually hit the store right around lunch time which gives us the perfect excuse to partake in the $1.50 hot dog/drink combo meal.  Each time Connor gets his hot dog, he examines it.  Here is the video of him explaining why.

Color Commentary

Even though my kids know who I will be voting for, I wanted to try to keep my comments during tonight's Presidential debate to a minimum while watching with my daughter.  Little did I know, she had brought a team of experts with her and they were not afraid to weigh in.

Cara, Body Language Expert:
"He gave more waves than the other guy. He's nicer."
"His hands look like they'd be very good for playing piano."

Cara, Fashion Consultant:
"They must keep that room they are in really cold.  Everyone is wearing suits."
"There are lots of light shining on them and I haven't seen any sweat on them yet."
"What's on his American flag pin? That'd be funny if it was a fake mustache."

Cara, Behavioral Psychologist:
"He said that a lot nicer than (the other guy) did."
"It seems that he is saying things to hurt (the other guy). Like, he's trying to be mean."
"He likes ignoring (the moderator). It's like an enjoyment of his."

Cara, Political Analyst:
"He's going to get rid of that (program)? But that's getting rid of jobs!"
"So, it was like 'Your plan sucks.' 'No, your plan sucks.' 'Nooo, I'm pretty sure your plan sucks more.'"

Cara, Fifth Grader
"I don't really know half of what they are talking about."