Who's There?

Cara has been asking for a while for a cell phone. I know that for some, 12 years old might seem too young. However, if you went by Cara's estimate, she was the only one her age without one. I have to admit, she really never whined about this. Rather, she would present her case calmly every so often and was usually met with unconvinced parent faces.

It's always fun to keep your child's expectations low only to surprise them by granting their wish. Or rather, the Easter Bunny did.

We didn't go all out. It's just a simple "grandma phone" as she lovingly refers to it. But that grandma phone has unlimited talk and text, so she is super happy.

One of the negatives about a simple phone like this is that there's not a lot of options for fun phone cases. In typical Cara fashion, she didn't let that stop her. She made her own case. She designed it and cut out all of the pieces. I then sewed them together and now am seriously considering trading phones with her just so I can use this case.

He's Not Arguing, He's Opposing

Most conversations with Connor involve a delicate game of semantics. Use the right word, and you're home free. Use the wrong word and you're in for a long and winding road that usually leads right back to where you started.

Normally, our advice to outsiders caught in one of these discussions is to "go limp" (our code for just agree with him). Even knowing this, I am the biggest sucker when it comes to getting pulled in to these. Sometimes, I just can't let it go and these things go on and on and on and just when I think I've proven my point, he's found a way to make himself the winner of the argument. (Shut up. It's not like I'm wondering where he gets it.)

Like this one time:

Connor: "This girl at school had a coat just like mine."

Me: "The blue one?"
Connor: "No. Her coat was just like mine."
Me: "Which coat of yours was it like?"
Connor: "The blue one."

Or this other time:
Me: "You have a booger on your nose."
Connor: "No I don't. It's dried snot."
Me: "Snot and boogers are the same thing."
Connor: "No, snot is wet and boogers are dry.

But transcription of the conversation does not truly capture the verbal circles this child can argue in. A virtual dialogue tornado. Lucky for you, I'm a storm chaser when it comes to these and I was actually able to capture one on film.

It should be noted that, immediately after I "cut", Connor tried to get me to smell the cards.

Apple users, you're going to want to upgrade to Android to watch this. Okay, fine. You could click here instead.

Oh, Shift

YouTube videos do not always come with warnings. Anything that has NSFW in the title, I can usually count on to not be something that I want to show to my kids. With Cara getting older, I've gotten a little more lax on what she can and can't view. In fact, I probably push it a little bit into the TMI range for her when I go into details to explain any adult content that she might have encountered. 

Ooh. Just had a flashback to grade school. My friend, Jennifer, and I watched "The Blue Lagoon" at her house, even though my parents had told me that they didn't want me to watch it. I didn't see what the big deal was after watching it (it took me until I was in my 30s to realize how raunchy the movie "Grease" was, so you could say I might have been a bit naive). But my parents, upon finding out and moving past their "disappointed in you" talk, wanted to discuss in detail what I thought about the movie. I believe I talked about the plot and how I loved Brooke Shield's hair and would never want to live on an island like that. Eventually, they had to directly ask about the nudity which I had no clue was an issue until they pointed it out. Yay, parenting!

Back to today...

Connor is at the age where he'll come home from school and tell me about a kid in his class that "said the I word". Idiot, for those that don't speak grade school code. Yeah. Idiot is a curse word at school, which it rightly should be when the intention in using that word is to make someone feel bad. But that actual word and dozens more like it are found in commercials and cartoons and in passing conversations, so it's hard to limit exposure to those sorts of things. Even so, I do try to keep him away from the handful of words that are considered to be curse words both in and out of the elementary school yard. 

Needless to say, we do not like letting Connor watch YouTube videos without supervision. Usually (and by usually I mean when Craig is around to suggest I do so), I will watch the video first and then let him know if he can view it after me. I watched a video the other day that I found funny and I thought Connor would as well. The only problem with it was that at the very end, an adult word was used. Had my phone been working right, I would have successfully stopped the video before that word was spoken. I tried not to draw attention to it, but that boy doesn't miss much. 

"I heard them say 'he's shifting'," he tells me.  Phew. Coast was clear....if I had kept my mouth shut. 

Instead, I pointed out the nudity in the "Blue Lagoon." 

I ask, "What do you think that means?" I fully expected an accurate description of shifting. So, my loud blurt of laughter can be justified as surprise when he said, "It means shooting dung."

Lucky Lotto

Connor: "Mom. I know how to win the lottery."
Me: "Wow. That's amazing. We should tell Daddy."
Connor: "Yeah. Tell him 5 8 9 7 3."
Me: "Okay."
Conor: "Wait. How many numbers do you need for the lottery?"
Me: "Six."
Connor: "Okay. Add a 1 at the end."

Very Muppet Birthday

The last couple of months...Scratch that... Our last year or so has been, for lack of a better word, unsettling. Part of this involves our potential move to Texas, a move that we are no longer considering. The quick summary on that part is that it wasn't the right move for us. We have it good here in Minnesota, something that I say with full awareness of the record-setting low temperatures that we've experienced in the past few months.

Without going in to too much more detail, this trying year has given us something. We got perspective. That's my silver lining to a very, very dark cloud of crap. It wasn't particularly a perspective that we wanted to have, but there it is anyway.  

So, while we were busy trying to stay warm and maintain some semblance of sanity, March happened. And with March comes my birthday. Not that I do much for my birthdays (you can read here on what my special day's requests have been), but it is something that happens whether I'm ready for it or not.

This year, Craig got me a gift so perfect, he is going to sit back for the next few birthdays (and by few I mean all of them) and talk about the olden days. "Remember that time I got you that really super awesome birthday gift that made you cry?" 

This is now the yardstick in which all future birthday gifts will be measured.

It is no secret to those that know me that I love the Muppets. Actually, love just doesn't cover it. The Muppets are my glee. And these past few months, I have been a bit glee-deprived. Opening this particular present at that particular time filled me with such joy that the 9 year old part of me took over and could not get into that box fast enough to play with my new toy. 

Some of the many looks of my new favorite plaything. (The feather hair is my favorite)

Now, I had actually opened this gift a month before my birthday. Craig couldn't wait and I wasn't really going to argue with him. Early presents don't ruin your birthday. It just makes it last longer. Same goes for late presents, so let me know if anyone needs my address.

The week of my birthday, the kids kept saying, "I can't wait until Wednesday." The first few times they said it, I had to think about what we had going on that day that would make them excited. When I realized that their excitement was for my birthday, I thought they must be thinking that there would be some sort of celebration and were going to be very disappointed. Turns out, they were both just so excited because they had made me birthday gifts and could not wait for me to open them. 

Unlike their dad, they did wait and it was even more glee just to see their faces waiting for me to unwrap each of their gifts. Cara had made me an beautiful necklace with ribbon and silver findings and had also made the cutest card about what she could be doing instead of wishing me a happy birthday (homework and room-cleaning were a couple of the things mentioned). To top it all off, she made me my favorite, white cake from a box with buttercream frosting. All on her own. The decoration couldn't be more perfect. 

Sums up my feelings about 41 exactly, Beaker.

Connor had also made me a card and gift and he had wrapped the present all by himself. It was halfway-covered with wrapping paper that was cut from the middle of the roll. Underneath the wrapping and inside the box was a sweet paper heart that he had cut out himself from the middle of a piece of construction paper. In keeping with the spirit of the gift and continuing the letting go that I started during Christmas time, I read the words that Connor meant.

This birthday, my glee cup runneth over. 

Valentine's Day 2014

Normally, Cara and I use Valentine's Day as a time to spend working together to come up with fairly labor-intensive crafts for her to give to her classmates. Last year, we made home-made Altoid-type candies and Cara put them in containers that she decorated herself along with a card that fit into the lid of the containers. The year before, we made salt dough into pins, magnets, bookmarks, and earrings. And the year before that, rolled out sugar cookies decorated with flood icing and personalized for each classmate.

This year, our February was less-than-typical and now Connor was going to be making valentines as well, so we decided to go an easier route. The kids and I visited the paint section at the Home Depot and grabbed a few dozen free sample cards. They both really enjoyed looking for colors that each of their friends would like. Some ribbon and a heart hole punch later, and the kids had made over 50 personalized bookmark valentines.

Another part of the Valentine's Day celebration at the kids' school is that the parents make a Valentine for their kids that will hang up in the classroom for the weeks leading to the holiday.  I had a lot of fun with these and I think they turned out fairly well.

Cara actually suggested we use Tae Kwon Do as the theme for her valentine. You may not be able to see all of the pictures clearly in this photo, but they are all documented moments in Cara's martial arts history: showing off a new move she had learned in class, sparring with the other students, practicing her flying side kick (the blurry pic at the top and probably one of my favorites) and being awarded her next belt. We are so proud of her progress and are happy to brag to her classmates about it.

I was looking for a cheesy saying to go on Connor's, but he actually requested that I write "I love you" on it. Since he's still okay with public displays of affection from his parents, I had to take advantage of what will probably be a small window of opportunity to do so. In addition to a neon sign displayed for all to see, he wore last year's Valentine's Day shirt.

I'm really glad that I get at least seven more years of valentine crafts to look forward to.

Retro Parenting

I take my role as parent seriously. It is my job to impart wisdom and reason, to teach my children the difference between right and wrong, to model good behavior, to show empathy and compassion to others so that my children will grow to be empathetic and compassionate people.  It is also my job to make sure that my children never utter the phrase "I didn't know that because that happened before I was born."  This week, I knocked the cobwebs off a few oldies but goodies to share with my children.

It started with Connor's request to tell him a bedtime story.  I tucked him into bed, snuggled up close, and began. "Now, here's a little story. It's about a man named Jed." I described the plight of this poor mountaineer who was desperate to feed his family. By the end of the story, things had turned around for Jed and Connor went to bed knowing that reckless abandon with a shotgun could end up getting you a swimming pool.

Another lyrically historical moment this week was when I chose to enlighten my daughter with the song stylings of one Mr. Bill Withers. Because, some times in our lives, we all have pain. We all have sorrow. But, if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.

As a child, the Muppet Show was a gateway between the characters I loved and the actors/musicians that my parents were familiar with. Now that I have my own kids, I've used old episodes of the Muppet Show (yes, I do own the Time Life series as seen on TV) to enrich their appreciation of performers of the past (and sometimes present, too---who knew the Alice Cooper episode would be Cara's favorite?).  This week, I let Connor gaze on the wonder that was Dizzy Gillespie. Don't know him? Well, here you go. And you're welcome.

If I say the name "Willow", what do you think of? If it's not either Rosenberg or Ufgood, I just don't have enough time to tell you how sad your life is. Since Cara already knows of the first, it was high time she be introduced to the second. This weekend, we rented the 1988 Ron Howard/George Lucas movie starring Wicket the Ewok and an un-puffy Val Kilmer. Now, she may have laughed out loud at some of the special effects, you can bet that girl was glued to the screen, making sure that the little red-headed baby was safe and that the queen got what was coming to her. High-five, eighties! 

So far, I was winning parenting. And then I pulled a Kelley. That thing where the words go directly from my brain and out through my mouth with no filter at all. It was not one that I immediately regretted, though. This was like a slow-release tablet that very well is probably in the boy's system as I type this. I apologize in advance, Connor's classmates' parents. My son is now familiar with the law of He Who Smelt It, Dealt It. 

If four out of five is good enough for dentists, it's good enough for me.